would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
