When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Someone came in the potted fern
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
