Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
