I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize