Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
