Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
