I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
being pregnant is like rehab
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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