There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
