Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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