Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
