she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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