Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize