How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
