We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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