After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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