I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
