Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
