erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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