they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
