On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We smell like vodka and hangover
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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