Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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