Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize