dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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