I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
