so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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