sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
