dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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