i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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