Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
