the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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