his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
