I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
