You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
