Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize