You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
barbara walters just said penis...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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