Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize