so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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