be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
