Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
