Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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