OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize