Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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