I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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