You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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