There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
