Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
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She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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