So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
