I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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