In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...