So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
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He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
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Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.