She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
