why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
