remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."