it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..