Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow