Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.