we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house