I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.