made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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