The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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