worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
