it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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