Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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