i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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