Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
